I think I've finally accepted that things will never work out the way I think I want them to.
For some reason I seem to not be allowed to be happy. Every time I think that things are going well, something happens to knock me back down again.
It's not always massive, not always a major issue but little things are enough these days.
A weird text off someone, or no texts at all off someone else just manage to start me heading down on one of my moods.
I hate being like this. I hate being a miserable cow that complains all the damn time.
I try and be happy, I really do. But frustrations and being constantly let down take their toll.
I need a break from my life but that ain't gonna happen any time soon. I have no support, no network of friends anymore. They all apparently chose the side that isn't mine, even tho they told me a billion times that it wasn't me that was in the wrong.
I guess loyalty wins out over anything in the end. It's ok, I get it. You can forget that the last 4/5 years ever happened.
Lucky you.
I wish I could. But it slaps me in the face every time I open my eyes. This is my reality. I can't pretend it never happened coz I wouldn't be in this situation if it hadn't.
Thanks for being my friends ... oh wait, you're not anymore. You're his. I'm alone.
It doesn't take much to knock someone down that is already on the floor but thanks for putting the effort in.
Can you leave me alone now please?
- Posted from T.
You're never alone while you've got me babes. I'm still only a train tide away. I know that doesn't seem like much in the there and then, but you gotta know there are so many people who care about you so fucking much. Everytime you feel down you gotta hold your head up high, cos you're one of the best people in this place, and I won't let you forget that no matter how annoying I get :). Srsly, you're one of the strongest people I know and I'm proud to call you a friend. Font let the bastards grind you down, you're too good for them.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I haven't been here for you tonight - problems of my own have kept me away from things. You have my number and you where I am if you need me x
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome girl, and everything will get better - the universe owes you some good karma! I am sure that your support network is bigger than you realise. Remember, I am only about 17,000 kilometers, and a 24-hour flight away :D
ReplyDelete