I dont know ...

I'm having a major crisis of confidence. The things my mum has said to me over the last couple of days, about me not being happy and not being able to cope, have knocked me quite a bit.
I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know if I AM coping ok. My daughter is a nightmare of a child at times, but the next second she does the sweetest things.
I'm not a natural parent, Ive never felt maternal, I never even wanted children. I know that sounds bad, but it was never in my grand plans for my life. It just happened. I never, ever thought i would be a single mum of 3 kids at this age.
But I am, and even though Ive been a mum for 9 years, I still don't seem to have totally gotten my head around it. I don't know if what I do is right. I don't know, when they do something they have been told a billion times not to do, if i should shout, put them on the 'naughty step', ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good? And then I have my own childhood experiences to think of, the way my mum and dad treated me. But I was never a bad kid, not really. I'm just so confused.
This is really, really hard. I have to be everything to these kids. I have to be the one that tells one off and comforts the other when they fight. The jealousy they hold for each other is sometimes palpable and I feel like I fuel that by hugging the one that's hurt and telling off the one that's hit.
I'm hoping that things do begin to get sorted this week, if I don't get some semblance of a life back for myself, i am going to literally go crazy and then Ill be of  no use to anyone.
Don't get  me wrong, I adore my children and I would die for them, but I need to have time for me too. I'm don't think of that as selfish. I'm just not one of these women who's life revolves around the 'little angels that can do no wrong'.
I wont take my kids out for food or to a restaurant because of the behaviour of the little one, she gets fed up sitting down so long (and who can blame her really) and gets agitated if i try and force her, then come the screams and then that's no fun for anyone. Hopefully she will grow out of it, but for now, we're limited with places we can go.
Maybe I have a touch of cabin fever, I don't know. I just know that I need some time off. I need to recharge my batteries. I need a break away from everything I know here. I need to go somewhere that I have never been, where no-one knows me and no-one can judge me. Coz they do here, people hear rumours and of course choose to believe what they like. It doesn't matter what the truth is.
I need to get away from that, even if only a short while.
Someone rescue me?