Sunday ...

I hate Sundays. I really do. Sundays are designed for lazy days with the bf and/or a big gang of mates. Having a laugh, watching DVD's, maybe a few drinks. Kids running round without a care in the world. One of those days were you go to bed with aching muscles from laughing so much.
Sundays used to be about competitions for me, before I had the kids. I used to compete show-jumping and helped out with my bosses horses too. So Id be up at the crack of dawn, bathing horses that were so big I had to stand on a stool to wash their backs, and I loved it. I love the camaraderie that came along with the job. You would see the same people every weekend, compete against the same riders. Drink with the same guys and girls after you're time was all over.
That was what I thought I was going to carry on doing with my life. I wanted to run my own yard, then every day would have been filled with something to do. Something to concentrate and work hard at.
I think Ive been lost since I left there, there hasn't really been anything else that I have wanted to do. I tried, Ive been to college a couple of times now, but it hasn't held my interest like the horses did.
I know I have to let this go because it is not something that I would be able to get into again, not with having the kids. Running a yard is more than a full-time job and I just wouldn't be able to split myself between that and my kids.
So I have to figure out what it is that I want to work at, what I want to dedicate some of my spare time (HA! Whats that then?!) to. I have an idea of pursuing this psychology course, I think that its something that I will be interested in. Something that I will be able to go on and do more with afterwards. So yeah, that's where I'm going to start anyways. No harm in trying right?

Aaaanyways, back to my Sunday thing. I know that the only way I can make them any better is to sort it myself, but I just don't know where to start. I don't really have that many friends here, and only 1 of them has kids. Obviously I don't have a bf so cant spend lazy Sundays with them.
Basically, I think Sundays are rubbish if you're alone. Which I essentially am, thanks to events over the last year or so.
I think a change may be starting this week tho, I'm meeting the ex to discuss things. I'm not going to mention moving yet, it'll be a while before I can even think about doing that so no point rocking the boat too soon. Ill be happy with us deciding which parent is having the kids which days. I just want things organised so I can try to make a start organising myself.
I'm not happy and I'm the only person that can change it. I'm not happy with a lot of things and I'm pretty fed up of being depressed about it. I guess its time for action.
As Ive probably said before, wish me luck.

Sundays still suck though.