So Ive been away for a while. Nowhere in particular, just not been in a blogging sort of mood. I've had plenty to say but it's been more in the form of Twitter rants as I'm sure a lot of you have witnessed!
So much has happened lately. I'm not entirely sure where I'm up to as I'm not actually connected to the internet right now, what with being in the middle of the Irish sea an all.
I've put moving house on hold as I dont think I'm ready to do it. I'm not in the right headspace to be starting over. I'm ok where I am, of course it's not ideal and I do need a yard or garden for the little ones but for now, we're doing ok. I think I'd be better concentrating on getting my shit sorted and straightened out.
My payments are all finally sorted, 15 months later and unfortunately the backpay is all pretty much used up as I've had to figure ways of paying my rent, borrowing etc. So I've had to pay that back and stuff. I'm just glad it's all finally sorted out. I can start making proper plans now, designate certain money toward moving and tweetup funds and what have you. I'm paying everyone back as I can and just getting used to being organised. Of course it's a work in progress as I've never been good with money!
I've recently switched electricity companies which will save me almost £300 a year which is a hell of a lot. It was one of those things in Sainsburys when salespeople grab you as you're doing your shopping, I usually ignore them but I have to admit that I stopped coz the guy was cute! Yes I am that superficial. Turns out it was the right move! So that's a step in the right direction. I'll get there, slowly but absolutely surely.
As for life in general, it's also a bit up in the air. I'm very much a single girlie right now. I'm not ruling out any sort of 'romance' but I'm not out looking for it. Never have actually, all my relationships have been by chance if you like. I'm not one to actively seek a boyfriend and I'm quite comfortable with my own company, enough to be happily single and not fret at all. Tbh, I'm not sure that I'm even cut out for a relationship, I'm quite selfish and I know that I'm hard work. If things are bothering me, I tend to keep it to myself and try to avoid any sort of confrontation until it all gets too much and I flip out over something stupid, which invariably leads to arguments and then they of course ask why I haven't said anything before. Maybe I need to try and change the way I deal with things but I don't know if I can. I am what I am and tbh, if they can't handle me being like that, then I'm obviously not meant to be with them. So yeah, I'm single but if the right guy preseveres enough with me then I'll just see how it goes. Like I say, I'm not closed off to relationships, just very, very wary. I was saying the other day, how I'd love to go back to 18 yr old me, where things weren't so complicated! But I bet we all think that sometimes. I can't change it so I just have to make the best of things.
My OU course also went tits up, but if I'm honest it just didnt hold my attention in the way that I thought it would. I should have Bowen the psychology like I was toying with in the first place, but then I doubt I would have fared any better as there wasn't much opportunity to actually study. I'm hoping to start that course in September, or possibly November when I'll have more time and hopefully things will be settled and more of a routine. I'd really like to make a go of that. It's always interested me how people work, I'm a nosy bitch too so it'd work all ways!
I'm going to leave this post as is for now. Going to try and get my head down for a bit. I'm on a ferry right now, taking the boy over for his holiday with his nan. At least one of us gets to go away for a little while! I'll publish this as soon as my signal comes back, the middle of the Irish sea isn't terribly technology-friendly!
Bye for now xx
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