I think I've finally accepted that things will never work out the way I think I want them to.
For some reason I seem to not be allowed to be happy. Every time I think that things are going well, something happens to knock me back down again.
It's not always massive, not always a major issue but little things are enough these days.
A weird text off someone, or no texts at all off someone else just manage to start me heading down on one of my moods.
I hate being like this. I hate being a miserable cow that complains all the damn time.
I try and be happy, I really do. But frustrations and being constantly let down take their toll.
I need a break from my life but that ain't gonna happen any time soon. I have no support, no network of friends anymore. They all apparently chose the side that isn't mine, even tho they told me a billion times that it wasn't me that was in the wrong.
I guess loyalty wins out over anything in the end. It's ok, I get it. You can forget that the last 4/5 years ever happened.
Lucky you.
I wish I could. But it slaps me in the face every time I open my eyes. This is my reality. I can't pretend it never happened coz I wouldn't be in this situation if it hadn't.
Thanks for being my friends ... oh wait, you're not anymore. You're his. I'm alone.
It doesn't take much to knock someone down that is already on the floor but thanks for putting the effort in.
Can you leave me alone now please?
- Posted from T.
